Distress me
by Mr.Crouch'sDaughter
Summary: In night, Janeway gets an unwanted visitor. Is it time to show and tell? J/7, don't like, don't read.


Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount Pictures. I am just boring them. And I don't make any money with this.

Rating: PG – 13

A/N: I always wondered why no one really was affected with Janeway's actions after Equinox, so I thought I'd choose Seven for the part.

Spoiler: Night.

**Distress me**

When had she last left her bureau? An hour ago? Three days? A week? Probably the last. It didn't matter. The darkness was beautiful. The silence even more. She knew she had done this before, once, hiding herself from the real world. It had been after Justin's and her father's death.

Yet, this was different. In that time, she had felt so terrible hurt, unable to bear the loss. She was not hurt this time. She was simply out.

She couldn't walk through the ship anymore, keeping her captain authority and her refreshing words for the crew. She knew they were chattering about her, knew that her smile just left grim faces.

Never, in all these years, had she ever done something that made her distrustful in the eyes of her crew. Until Equinox. What had driven her?

She looked out into the darkness. Had she lost herself to an inner darkness, just as black as the one outside?

She had promised to get the crew home with fulfilling the Starfleet duties, yet she would have given everything to get the Equinox, even the ship if it had been the price.

How had she come so far?

Risking the life of a man just to take revenge? Risking the life of the crew for her personal feelings?

Someone was at the door and interrupted her in her thoughts. She would not open. She didn't want to see anyone, how often should she say that?

She found herself surprised as the door simply opened and turned with a grim face to see the intruder.

"Seven", she said, in a mixture of surprise and anger.

"Captain", the younger woman said, her face as neutral as always.

If she was borg, would it be easier for her to cope the situation? If she just could put up a face like Seven and don't give a single thought of the others?

"How did you come in here?" she asked severe.

"Commander Tuvok agreed to assist me."

"Don't lie to me", Janeway said. Tuvok would never do something like that. Tuvok respected her.

"Lying is inefficient to reach a goal", Seven said in her perfect borg phrase.

"And why did Commander Tuvok help you to break into my quarters?"

"Because he thought it was a good idea if I talked to you."

Janeway laughed – a short, sarcastically laugh. "I have already had enough visits of Commander Chakotay, who, as Tuvok knows, is kind of a friend to me. And I didn't change my opinion with him. Why should I with you?"

"I am irritated", Seven said.

"Irritated? Why?"

"I cannot understand why you lock yourself away."

"Really, can't you? You are not very good in imaging, are you?"

"Imagination was irrelevant to the borg", Seven replied.

"Yes, of course", Janeway muttered and turned for the window.

Silence fell between them, as Janeway suddenly said:

"Seven, if you were still a borg, how would you judge my actions with the Equinox?"

"I would say you are function out of your normal parameters and would propose to reprogram you."

"You would, spoken clearly, say I failed."

"Yes", Seven replied casually.

Janeway looked over her shoulder. "And you are still asking why I lock myself away?"

"As far as I know, the Voyager is a Starfleet ship and not borg", Seven replied.

"The borg didn't allow failures. And the crew of a Starfleet ship doesn't allow failures."

"You are human."

"Thanks for reminding me."

"Humans fail."

"Not like I failed."

"Explain", Seven said.

Janeway sighed and shook her head. "I have responsibility for the ship and the crew and I am bound to the Starfleet codex. Yet, I forgot all this for my revenge. That is not the kind of failure that can be forgiven."

"I heard no one judge you."

"No, of course you didn't. The crew is careful when it comes to judging the captain. Even after she has shown off that she is willing to sacrifice them all for her goals."

"You would not have sacrificed the ship. It is your highest treasure", Seven said.

"Nice you are so sure of that. I am not. And that frightens me. It frightens me not to know how I will react the next time I am in such a situation, it frightens me to think that my failure will give us all to death."

"You must have been aware of that the whole travel."

"Yes, I have been. But until now, I could always say that I would never act in a way that would danger the ship and the crew. I cannot say that anymore. It frightens me to believe that maybe, in the end, I am just as dark as that darkness surrounding us."

"There is always light where there is darkness", Seven said.

"Have you gotten poetical?"

"If there was no light in the darkness, you wouldn't recognise it is dark. It is a science fact."

"Maybe you are right. But for the ship, it is easy to get out of the darkness surrounding it. It just needs to find the right course."

"Just like you."

"That may not be so easy", Janeway said.

"Yet, the ship cannot find it's way out of it alone. It needs his crew. It needs his captain, to help."

"And who is there to help me?" Janeway muttered.

"I am standing here", Seven said.

"And how do you think you can help me?"

"Distress."

"Distress?"

"You are focusing on the past too much. That is inefficient. You need to focus on the future, you need distress,"

Janeway turned. "And you would offer that to me?"

"Yes", Seven said.

"Why?"

"I see through your failures. I see you through the darkness", Seven said.

Janeway looked at her. "Distress me, then", she whispered.

Seven moved close to her and rose her hand to her cheek, kissing her softly on the lips.

And the darkness outside that had left the Captain in despair covered them softly with secrecy.


End file.
